Next year I need to make or find the perfect Christmas card.

One which doesn’t say

‘Merry Christmas’,

‘Happpy Christmas’,

‘Have Fun’,

‘Party!’

‘Have a fabulous New Year’.

 

Instead a card which says;

‘I’m thinking of you’…

 

I’m thinking of you because

I know this year,

most years

have hard stuff in them,

that you lost your job and so can’t pay for all the glitter and frippery you think you should,

so you feel bad that your kids are going without,

and having less than you hoped they would.

 

A card which says;

‘I’m thinking of you and sending love’…

 

I’m thinking of you and sending love because your mum died this year,

your dad went into a home,

your kids left,

your sister is ill,

you got divorced,

you split up with your bloke

and I know that you feel lonely

when everyone posts their photos of huge grins and cheery waves

whilst you pretend to everyone that you are having a great time.

 

A card that says;

‘I’m here for you’…

 

I’m here for you when you are sad,

when you’ve got a cold,

when you are locked down,

locked in,

feeling sick,

when you are scared,

when you feel left out,

when you worry how you will keep the roof over your head,

when you are so full of anxiety that everything is a threat.

 

A card which says;

‘I will stand by you’…

 

I will stand by you through

descrimination,

altercation,

procrastination,

alteration,

when the world judges you for

your age,

your looks,

you size,

your skin,

your gender,

your bank account,

your house,

who you love,

the clothes you dress in.

I will stand by you because I can see through to your skin and bones and your red and bloody heart of hope.

 

A card which says;

‘I know this can be a tough time of year’….

 

I know this can be a tough time of year because the expectation of

joy,

happy families,

presents galore,

peace and goodwill to all,

make the poverty,

abuse,

redundancy,

aging,

bankrupcy,

rows at home,

sulky kids,

seem all the more personal,

as if you are the only person,

in the shiny, happy, world of Instagram and Facebook who feels so

tired,

depressed,

unloved,

hopeless

overwhelmed.

 

A card which says;

‘You are in my thoughts’….

 

You are in my thoughts because I too have suffered,

lost,

mourned,

wept.

 

A card which says;

‘I believe in you’….

 

I believe in you because I have seen your kindness,

your determination,

your commitment,

your humour,

your compassion,

your love.

 

A card which says;

‘Thank you for all you are too me’…

 

Thank you for all the times you have

phoned to check in on me,

listened,

made me laugh,

picked the kids up from school,

cooked me meals,

shared your stories,

cheered me on,

picked me up when I fell down.

 

Next Christmas I will make or find,

a real card,

which doesn’t pretend that Christmas squeezes all of life into pretty glitter.

A real card that wishes you the best, knowing the worst might have happened,

A real card which connects and says, ‘me too’, I have felt that too,

We are together in this,

messy,

chaotic,

imperfect life

and it is our connection,

your very being alive,

Your being-ness,

that matters more than anything to me.