I’m confused.

Lock down in a way was simple. Stay in. Stay put. Stay home.


In England this, in Wales that, Ireland and Scotland have another.  Living on the border has never felt so confusing.

2 meters, 1 meter, but not in schools because then we can’t fit all the children in and we need the parents to go back to work.

Go back to work says Boris

Continue to work from home, says Patrick.

Masks in shops and buses, but not (yet) in Wales and definitely not in schools (yet).

Because says Hancock, masks only protect you (or them) for a short period of time (unless you are on a train in which they work for a longer period of time??).  And anyway; ‘ if you’re in a classroom with kids all day then a mask doesn’t give you protection,” But you don’t need protection in schools any way because schools have in build anti-viral charms and spells which are activate as soon as you walk through the door.

Because children aren’t a high risk. Unless they are older than 10, in which they might be until they are 13 and then increasingly are until they are 18.  So secondary schools are like having hundreds of adults all in close confines. But don’t tell anyone or they won’t go back.

But anyway, get them back in and learning as they used to. Except they will all be sitting in straight lines. Facing front. starting at staggered times. Walking one way. Without moving around. Without being able to mix.  And sanitizing  desks and distancing ‘where possible’. But, yes, back to normal as they say.

Unless you are in Vietnam, Germany, Thailand, Israel or Taiwan where you have to wear masks to school (so no magic spells over there then?)


OK, so let’s move on from schools.

You can go out, but not so much in Wales.

But you can get drunk in Wetherspoons and keep socially distanced, until everyone is too drunk to care.  But not in Magaluf, where they are closing the bars down again.

Shielding is going on the 1st August in England, or the 16th August in Wales, but the virus in still in the air and the illness is still the same.  But after those dates, In England you will never need to shield again but in Wales ‘We will keep a record of everyone on the shielded patients list should we need to ask anyone to shield again in future.’

Safe. Not safe. Distant. Not distant. Masks. Not masks.


Maybe it would be easier if I was the sort of person who could just follow the rules without thinking, reading and researching for myself.  Maybe in would be much simpler.

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