Breaking point 2
First the tibia,
his,
not mine.
The horror of waiting in pain
of watching it pale and bleach his skin to blue.
Then
My growl to keep him safe
my voice
to advocate
so he is not just another patient
to be processed by staff
doing their best
under-water with overwhelm themselves.
Then
safe ward
x-ray
morphine
at last respite,
not complete,
but some relief.
Then
the rest of life piles in
his school
my work
caretaking
house keeping
loving.
I feel another break approaching
I have been to that edge before
the edge where I tried to do it all so fell crumbled on the floor.
This time
I see it coming
feel my heart pounding
my anxiety sweating
my attention battling.
This time
I lay down the fight of pushing through, doing it all, toughing it out.
I let things float away.
I ask for help.
I cut back.
We shut down and in,
locked down again
differently.
This time
I don’t break
I relinquish doing it all
and do what matters most
caring for him
loving
For if I fall apart
so does he
the curse and blessing of the single parent
total responsibility.
Together we re-focus on what matters.
Differently
we heal.
If you enjoyed reading this please share it with friends. You might also be interested in talking to me about coaching , or maybe try some of my online courses (some are free), or treat yourself to a climate protecting pamper with vegan friendly, organic Tropic which supports the planting of forests and education in deprived areas.
Thanks for being here.
Julie
Tags In
Categories
- Be Here Now (105)
- Education (38)
- Endings (56)
- environment (92)
- Inspiration (104)
- Podcasts and videos (49)
- Psychology and Emotions (141)
- Relationships and Family (146)
- Spirituality (66)
- stories and poems (94)
- Thinking Differently (179)
- Uncategorized (8)
- Well-being (101)
- Women (79)
- Work (41)