P and I were talking….about the nature of relationships…your average Sunday conversation.
He used the metaphor of 2 trees standing side by side but apart which reminded me of what Kahil Gibran says in ‘The Prophet’:
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
But then I got to thinking and reflecting, on my experience in Greece with the dogs and the birds and the trees.
2 trees, standing next to each other, have roots in the same soil and so take the same nutrients. They have leaves which move in the same wind, they are warmed by the same sun and they are quenched by the same rain. They breathe the same air and when the wind comes in one direction, one shields the other, until the wind changes and the other takes over as wind break.
The pillars of the temple may way stand apart, but they stand on the same earth and reach into the same sky, supporting the same roof and standing on the same floor.
So it is impossible to be 2 trees or 2 pillars in isolation.
Of course we each come into relationship as one human being with another, each with distinct histories and strengths and flaws. Just as 2 trees next to each other, we bear different scars, our branches carry different fruit and reach in different directions.
But below the surface, as we grow together. Don’t our roots tangle beneath the soil, out of sight? The taller we get, the older we get, the deeper and wider our roots, the more we connect with the roots of the other trees in the forest. None of us stands alone even if above ground we look separate, beneath it there are connections.
When you look up in a forest, branches entwine leaves of one tree flutter against the leaves of another. When you look up it is hard to see where one tree starts and another ends. Isn’t this also true of our relationships. We have different trunks, but we connect, we overlap, we share the shade and the light with each other.
When we look higher, into the sky, we see the sun, we feel the wind, the rain and this touches all trees, where ever they stand they need air and light and enough moisture to help them grow. So when we look high enough, out above our single trunk, beyond our copse and our forest, we are in fact, connected to all trees that grow.
We all breathe air, we all need the sun and the rain. We all love, we all hurt, we all break, we all burn. Everyone one of us affects the other whether through our shared roots, our tangled branches, our fluttering leaves or your inhalations. We breathe out, trees breathe in. You breathe out air particles of which later I might breathe in.
Separation is an illusion. It comes when we fail to look into the dark of our roots or the light of the sky.
So…on that note…I’ve been thinking about throwing this blog open to you. Over the years you have heard from me as I grow and change and think about things and I have loved the emails and messages you have sent me in return. But there is so much wisdom in what you reply, in what you message that I would like to share your thoughts, experiences and insights.
This site is called Love Being Me and everything I offer on here is to help you and me love being ourselves more and more no matter what life brings. I would love to hear from you about how you are learning to love yourself more, about how you are growing and changing, about what you are learning along the way that might help other people.
We are all connected. I’m not growing in isolation and neither are you so let’s share your wisdom more widely. Please write about you world, your hopes, your fears, you learning, your failures, you bravery and your vulnerability as you move forward in your life. Just email me to tell me about yourself and we’ll take it from there.